Advance Directives Planning

As I was filling and completing my advance directives document, the idea of how to approach my father, who I chose as my agent, did not go away from my mind. Since we live thousands of miles away from each other, I could not think of any better way to approach him but to send him the document with a brief message telling him what is the document is about, and give him a couple of days to think about it as he pleased and then approach me to talk about my document (healthcare needs and goals) in detail. We video called each other with better understanding of the goal of my document, so we both focus on my healthcare goals by keeping the emotional part of a father-son relationship aside. I can sense from him as a father that he was not expecting to have such conversation with me, but he understands completely the meaning and the goal of my move. He did not have any questions about my advanced illness or care, however; his only concern was that of what I wish to do with my body after my death. As I wish to be an organ donor if possible, he wanted to perform the Islamic burial tradition. However, I explained to him my motive to do so which is to help others and save lives if possible, he respected and accepted my wish.

The most challenging aspect of completing my advance directives was approaching my father as my agent to hold my will. Aside from knowing that he will accept and trust my wishes, it was very difficult to reach him with such topic because we lost my brother nine years ago. I did not want him to feel sad and reopen the door to the past, but I know he is the only one I can trust with my will and wishes. After completing the process of my future planning, I will definitely recommend my friends and patients to follow through and do the process and complete their advance directives for multiple reasons. First, having such informative planning will help their families and healthcare providers to choose the best treatment based on their interests, so it will reduce the pressure on the family and friends to take such decisions. Second, thinking in your healthcare plans in the future and who you want to trust to be your agent, will help you a lot in your current life-time as I was noticing what is important to me, who I can trust in difficult and emergency times, and what I want to do before I reach to such stage where I cannot be normal. Finally, they will know the path they most likely will go through after they reach a stage where they cannot realize what are their surroundings because they already wrote their plans ahead of time. Doing this document brings a whole new perspective to life and new way of looking at yourself.